 His legacy |
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Gabriel Videos
Videos with Gabriel in them.... :-)
A band rehearsal with Gabriel, Ben, Chris Suggs, and Tyler Chen
This was probably the year, 1999
Minute 61 at a Skate Park in 2000
This one is later, its The Invocation playing at Steve's venue
I think Ben had come in on leave from the Army for this one... its Gabriel, Ben, Henry, BJ, and Renee
This was made from a really bad tape, but its still fun to watch... its Minute 61 with Gabe, Ben, Steve, Tyler, and Nate at CarpetBaggers
This is when Gabe and Ben played with Past Mistakes...
This one is Gabriel and Benjamin singing to their Great-Grandma who had broken her hip, I think this was early 2003
Gabriel and Ben and Katie in their family band, NewTune Missions, at the World's Fair Park after a March for Jesus festival
Gabe and Ben lip syncing on Gabriel's 13th birthday
Gabriel dancing for the camera at Great-Grandma's
Gabriel and his cousins Moshing at an early age... :-)
This one is mostly Ben, but its real funny.... Ben age 4 and his dog
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27 Memories of Gabe by: his Mom
Gabriel Miller… 27 memories… J by Katie Helms, his MOM….
1. sticking your tongue out at me when you were two days old… J
2. when a baby, being carried, always having to be held face out, so you could see what was going on…
3. mimicking the guitar player in your dad’s band, and your Uncle Bob…
4. always wearing a crazy costume… starting at 3 years old, on the back of my bicycle, with cowboy boots, football helmet, and superman cape blowing in the wind…
5. a “wheeler dealer”, from the start , always wanting to sell something…
6. always wanting to entertain… directing the other kids in a play, or lip-sincing a song…
7. a ladie’s man, from the start too… always putting your arm around a girl…
8. but Mama’s boy first…
9. always ready to go anywhere with me and your brother…
10. swimming at the beach and blue springs… fishing at the river… anything free, we did it, (if we had the gas money to get there)…
11. always wanting to make a deal, to get out of trouble, or get your way…
12. always encouraging me when I needed it…
13. teaching your 4 year old little brother how to read, so he could look up baseball card prices in the Topps catalog…
14. teaching your little brother how to play the drums, so you’d have a drummer for your band…
15. from a young age, concerned about your appearance, and having to look cool…
16. always being sweet and acting excited when you got home-made presents when we didn’t have any money… even when you really wanted ninja turtles, and I couldn’t afford them…
17. you were always excited about everything…
18. even as a little kid, you shopped around, when you had money to spend…
19. when you got your first job you helped me to buy Jinco’s for yourself and your little brother, because I could only afford the cheap jeans…
20. I watched you “get touched” in church, several times… and weep and weep at the movie, “The Passion of the Christ”
21. always calling me to meet for lunch… J and going to movies with me…
22. trying SO HARD to overcome addiction…
23. always being there for your friends… no matter what time it was… or what was going on… you would drop everything to just sit and listen…
24. always needing a ride…
25. always telling me and your brother “I love you”… always…
26. always saying, “how do I look… tell me the truth…” and “trust me…”
27. writing beautiful songs and poetry to me and encouraging me so much…
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Gabriel's Favorites
Name: Gabriel John Miller
Favorite Foods: Anything that didn’t eat him first…. When he was little, if we had something new, and he was looking at it with one of those, “yuck” looks, I would just say to his Dad, “If Gabe doesn’t want to try this that’s o.k., because this food is expensive and we’ll just save it for ourselves…” Gabriel would immediately dig in and love what he ate… J He liked HOT and spicey stuff too… He put Texas Pete on EVERYTHING… I think his favorites were Lobster and 5-Way Cincinnati Chili…
Favorite Movies: Gabriel was a movie connoisseur… he knew all the actors and their life stories… He Loved movies… he liked anything scary, funny or full of passionate dramas… He liked, Ed Wood, Purple Rain, Clifford, Robin Hood Men in Tights, Super Size Me, Edward Scissorhands, Red Dragon, The Elephant Man, The Passion of the Christ, Sleepy Hollow, Beetlejuice, the Nightmare Before Christmas, The Lady in the Water, The Ring… He liked Johnny Depp movies the most, I think…
Favorite TV Shows: Gabe wasn’t big on TV… if it was a movie, then yes… but just TV, I’d say he only liked the History Channel and Fox News… He was really interested in the world and what was going on…
Favorite Songs: Gabriel loved music, and had an ear for what was good… He knew, not only, the bands, but the musicians and all about them… He listened to the rhythm and the instruments making the sounds… He heard the bass in the background, he could tell you what the snare drum was doing in a certain part of a song, he could play the bass or lead guitar part or hum or sing what he had heard years before… I don’t really know his favorite song… his favorite artist, I think, was “Matisyahu”, a jewish, regae, rap, guy who sang about God and Jerusalem… But he mostly played punk rock…
Favorite Sports Teams: Gabriel LOVED the UFC… the Ultimate Fighting Championships… His favorite fighters were Chuck Liddell, Royce Gracie, and Dan Severn… Mixed martial arts and boxing…
Favorite Hobbies/Video Games: Gabriel’s favorite hobby was writing songs and playing his guitar… but he also enjoyed video games… Halo 2, Call of Duty, Ghost Recon… he liked playing the live games where you play against other people in other places, I don’t know what you call it, but he liked that…
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Patrick Wilson's Song, Take Your Foot Off The Gas
I picture you in heaven and you're playing a guitar
I bet that you're a big hit
man, I bet that you're a star
I bet he gave you new teeth (i love this line)
and he took away the scars
from times you had to much to drink
but still hopped in those cars
I wonder if I tried if it woulda helped to slow you down
if you'd still be here with me
to help me terrorize this town
what I would do for one more time
just to get by and sing a line
with my friend I won't forget,
I wish to God I would of said
Take your foot off, Take your foot off, Take your foot off the gas
I know this world can be cruel
and you suffered way too long
I hope that in your last moments
the angels sang a song
to ease the pain and wash away
the fear surrounding death
I know that Jesus held your hand
as you took your last breathe
I wonder if I tried
if you woulda throwed the needle down
if you'd still be here with me
playin' your music for this town
my friend we wasted too much time
what I would give for one more time
just to get high and sing a line
I wish to God I would of said
Take your foot off, Take your foot off, Take your foot off the gas
I know someday that we will be friends once again
we'll harmonize songs once again, i know it's true
when we go out it's not the same here without you
and there is no replacing you
no one comes close
Take your foot off, Take your foot off, Take your foot off the gas
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A song Gabriel must have been writing, it was found on a notepaper in his apartment.
He must be singing to the Lord, about how he wanted his girlfriend to see an honest and righteous man... It must have been fairly recent, because it was written on the back of a Ruby Tuesday server sheet.
I want to live for You,
I want to win her love,
But all I ever do is destroy my temple.
I love to see her smile,
I love your peace like a dove,
I want you to set me apart, we will be an example.
I want her to look me in my eyes,
but see Your face. A face with no lies.
God give me strength to be there like a man.
Let me walk in Your light,
So I can treat her right...
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Note to Ben from Hannah Miller
Ben,
I cannot express how deeply sorry I am. I know my words can’t comfort you, but I hope they offer some encouragement. Gabe was a precious soul with a great heart. He reminded me of King David. King David was the greatest King in Israel’s history, but he acted like the worst. He was remembered for his humble response to his failures and not for his failures. Gabe is remembered the same way. He humbled himself and apologized for his failures. He was the greatest even when he acted the worst.
After I received the shocking news a peace came over me. I know Gabe is humble and I know he is receiving all the love he has always deserved now and is forgiven. I have the greatest respect for him for admitting his failures openly. You should be proud of his character. Adopt it as your own. s
My warming memory of Gabe was my junior year of high school. My boyfriend had broken up with me – it was my first heartbreak. Gabe suggested we meet up, so we did. We got milkshakes and went to a park to swing on the swingsets. He shared with me some of his own heartbreak and encouraged me in his words. He gave me reassurance. I will never forget that.
Ben, you have so much strength in you. I pray you see that and use it. I pray you use it to hold up your mother in this time of grief. I pray that love surrounds your family. I pray for peace. You are a precious soul. Do not ever doubt your worth for a second. Be strong and courageous and mighty forces will come to your aid. Remember the past for it can give you hope for the future.
I consider you my brother and not only because you have my brother’s name (Ben Miller), but because I see something in you that I relate to. A comfort that only comes from a brother.
I love you, my brother.
Have Faith.
Hannah Miller
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Thunder and Rain, by Gabriel Miller
I thought the worst was over
But it never ends
Its hard to keep smiling
Its hard to pretend
Chorus:
Thunder and rain
Fall from the sky
But I love rain, it hides
Tears in my eyes
The shadows from the past
Come too quick and too fast
Where do I turn to, with
This empty flask
Jesus, come be with us,
Me and my mother keep...
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Today I Buried My Friend, A Poem by Patrick Wilson
Today I buried my friend
and I watched a mother cry
though his time on earth had end
her love for him will not die
Today I buried my friend
and I watched a brother deny
though his time on earth had end
his love for his brother will not die
Today I buried my friend
and I watched a family ask why
though his time on earth had end
their love for their blood will not die
Today I buried my friend
and I watched other friends sigh
though his time on earth had end
our love for a friend will not die
Today I buried my friend
and I watched bandmates wipe their eye
though his time on earth had end
their love for his tune will not die
Today I buried my friend
and I watched enemies join side
though his time on earth had end
their mutual love for him will not die
Today I buried my friend
and I watched a broken dove now fly
though your time on earth had end
you will not die.
-Patrick Wilson
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Poem found with a rose on Gabriel's bed, a few days after he passed away...
Unknown Author
As you break on through
We sit still,
Wondering,
Waiting,
Where did you go,
Where are we all going?
Missing you,
Missing me,
Life,
Love,
Lost.
The end of the line,
Miss you still and forever,
Love you still and remember,
Still.
I will miss u Gabe...
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"Brotherly Love" Poem by Gabriel's Dad
As a dad, I would laugh and be tickled from my heart as I would listen to
my sons trying to figure out the worlds problems...
As they grew a little older and wiser, they would try to figure out on how
to keep their guitar strings to stay in tune as they put their hearts into
their songs...
And "Guys Night" was a pizza,a movie and watching those 2 talk, laugh, and
play pranks on the younger, he would be Ben...
It was tymes that played over and over to the depths that filled my heart
with joy at no end. For the 2 were unseperable, for I call it Love
Brotherly...
Saturdays were just as amazing, for this was "Baseball Card Day", after
the wheeling and dealing, we would indulge in a ice cream at KAY'S, OH! SO
GOOD!!
Iused to love it when Gabe, took Ben for a cruze in a car that "THE GABE"
just purchased(with his mothers help)....
They are the most BROTHERLY and best of friendships I have ever known!!!
Yes, their Brotherly Bond will live on within the hearts that knew
them.......
And their Love will always SHINE as the Eastern Star, in all of our hearts..
You set the eternal example! Keep the torch lit Ben!
In Loving Memory to Gabe Miller
written by david miller aka dad
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A note someone sent with some of Gabriel's Lyrics
"the perfect fire"
"say your prayers for now, remember all the times when we were suffering.
I speak of this motivation, picks me up just like a storm while remembering.
you pour down blessings, ive never had.
Feeling like your dying is the latest fad.
you pour down blessings, but never had.
TO LIVE LIKE your dying is the latest fad.
... I see your children smiling, but still i frown.
their perfect fire destroys me, cause im so down."
I'll never forget when you told me true meaning behind this and exactly what "the perfect fire" was.
I hope you're finally smiling. I know you fought it for a long time.
I still don't fucking believe this shit. I want to be mad at you, but I can't. I just hope you're smiling.....
"coughing blood and opportunity
I hurt someone that i love, to ease the pain. to feel the rush."
.... never again. no, never again. i won't do it again.
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UnCut version of Metro Pulse Article
EOTS: Gabriel Miller Eulogy Un-Cut Version
The great leveler, mortality is an ultimate certainty that, nevertheless, invariably blindsides everyone. And while it was common knowledge that area musician Gabriel Miller was dabbling in hard drugs, a profound sense of shock echoed through Knoxville’s music scene with the word that Miller was found dead in his apartment, the victim of an apparent drug overdose in mid-August.
A veteran of several popular groups including Endeavor, Minute 61, Nashville’s The Goodbye Letter, Past Mistakes, The Invocation, The Requiem, and a brief tenure with Equal Vision recording artists, Fairweather, the prolific Miller played variants of hardcore, emo, and heavy metal music, delivering a body of work that would be most easily classified as modern punk rock.
With toxicology reports pending, the exact details of Miller’s death are still somewhat blurred. The only certainty is that Miller preferred opiates and had bounced in and out of rehabilitation programs several times over.
“I think it was Oxycontin,” says Katie Helms, Miller’s mother. “One time he told me, he said, ‘Mom, I just want you to know that I didn’t start doing drugs trying to be rebellious, I was just curious.’ He got into drugs slowly and all of a sudden he found that Oxycontin; and he got addicted immediately.”
Miller’s struggle with drugs began in his teens, reaching a deadly apex of hard drugs and addiction around three years ago. “He started young,” says brother Ben Miller, a longtime musical partner and alum of Minute 61 and The Invocation. “He was about 14. And when a kid that age has so many drugs, that says something.”
A prime mover of Knoxville’s all-ages punk scene, Gabe’s terrifying roller coaster ride through addiction created a lot of mixed opinions in the area. Nonetheless, Miller is remembered fondly as a compassionate soul with a great talent.
“He used to fight a lot and sometimes he did bad things,” says Ben. “But deep down inside, he loved everybody. Even though Gabe used to do bad things, God still loved him and Gabe loved God.”
While Gabe’s foray into the dank, subterranean path of addiction certainly estranged him from many of his friends, everyone had a sense that someday he’d emerge, perhaps battered from the experience, but with talent and kindhearted nature intact. As sideline viewers, helplessly gawking at a young talent tragically snuffed, we of course try to assign some kind of deep meaning to these tragic events. But ultimately, the simple fact is that Miller tempted cruel fate, as young men are wont to do. Miller was unlucky, paying the ultimate price.
Asked why she is so forthright about the circumstances of her son’s death, Helms explains that she hopes openness about the challenges of addiction might help others faced with similar problems. “My motivation is that no kids are going to get help while people are still hiding it. People that don’t have a child going through it, they have no idea. They don’t even know it’s going on. And kids are dying. My message to the young people is let’s don’t let this death be in vain. If you’re on drugs, realize you need help and then get it.
“People think that drug addicts are the scum of the earth. So they don’t want to help – why should you help the scum of the earth? Addicts are not scum, they are beautiful people who may have had hard times or just accidentally got into it. But usually they’re very passionate and deep people. A lot of times they’re artistic. Sometimes these people are such deep people, they look at things differently.
“Everything he did, Gabe seemed to want to ignite passion in people,” Helms continues. “He thought deeply and he tried to figure the world out, and he didn’t like what he saw, because there’s a lot of crap in this world, you know? There’s a lot of beauty too, but sometimes the artist’s soul takes things differently.”
“I know he influenced and inspired so many people,” adds Ben. “Gabe was a beautiful person and he was so spiritual. He had the greatest heart. All throughout life I looked up to him and I wanted to be like him. All that beauty and now it’s gone, like that. He could’ve been anything he wanted to be – the sky was the limit; a great talker, the biggest heart, just the greatest guy. And now this stupid little addiction has taken him away. It sucks, but I’m trying to be tough, trying to be brave.
“It’s kind of funny. When Gabe was about 10 and I was 7, we started a little rap group,” Ben reminisces. “It’s impossible for me to put our experiences into words. We used to have so much fun, and we totally clicked through music. I think since he was a little kid he wanted to be in showbiz: He was always getting up front, getting in the camera, being a loud talker. He always wanted to be number one.
“I probably could’ve never made friends growing up without Gabe,” Ben continues. “He never picked on me in front of his friends and he always encouraged me in everything I did. That’s the kind of guy he was, always making the little guy feel big too. I think that’s why he influenced so many people and had so many friends.”
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Katie's (Gabe's Mom) Message at the Funeral
Funeral of Gabriel John Miller August 17, 2006
What Katie, Gabe’s Mom, said…
Our God is an awesome God, if He wasn’t, I couldn’t be standing up here right now… But I just wanted to share with you a few things that are on my heart… Some of you I don’t know too well, some of you, I’ve watched you grow up, and you’re just awesome people, and a lot of you were really really good friends with Gabe, and I just wanted you to know that I appreciate it. I appreciate all of the encouragement and all the love that you showed to him…
And I just wanted to share with you a couple of things, one is that that’s not Gabe, that’s just his earth suit, That’s just his body, and I believe that with all my heart, and I know that at school they teach us that we evolved from monkeys and everything, but the way I feel about it is, you know, if we were evolved, where is the missing link, where’s the half link, where’s the half man half monkey, where’s the quarter man, quarter monkey, and the three quarter man, three quarter monkey, we’re missing links from people and all kinds of animals… and I believe that we were created by an awesome God, and I believe that He created you all because He loves you and has an awesome plan for your life… everyone of you out there… and if we were just chemicals, and had just come from a big bang, then when Gabe sang and played, we wouldn’t want to dance, and move… we wouldn’t have love and laughter, and I think that proves it… and we named Gabriel, Gabriel because it means messenger of God, we named him Gabriel John, and there is an old saying, “Gabriel blow your horn”… well, he did…
And some of you saw the picture in the back, when Gabriel was two days old I took a picture of him laying there so sweet, and I took a picture of him, and he lifted his head, and newborn babies don’t lift their head very much, and he lifted his head and he stuck his tongue out at me… there’s a picture to prove it… and I thought to myself, “its going to be a wild ride”…. And it has been… When Gabe was just three years old we lived in a little town in Georgia, and I was pregnant with Benjy, and I had this little bicycle and this little kid bicycle seat on the back, and I would put Gabe on the back of that bicycle and we would ride all over town, and he would have a football helmet on, a rock star shirt, cowboy boots, and a superman cape blowing in the wind… and one time this little old man said, “whats he trying to be”… and I said, “a Gabe”…. That was just Gabe, he cared about fashion even back then…
And when he was a little older I took him to a pawn shop, Ya’ll forgive me, I took him to his first pawn shop… but in there was this giant, this giant frame and it had all these humongous butterflies, these giant butterflies, from all over the world, and he was just looking at it, and it was $600 for this thing, and he just looked, and looked, and I thought, “oh, he’s not going to be a rock star, he’s going to be a scientist! Yeah!” and I was so excited… and a few days later we were home and he had this little box with cotton in the bottom of it, and some bugs, some roaches, some wasps, some bees, a scorpion, a brown recluse spide, and a dead mole (I don’t know where he got the dead mole) and he was pinning them down in the box… and I’m thinking, “oh, he’s not going to be a rock star, he’s going to be a scientist! Yeah!” and I was so excited… and his Dad walked into the door and said, Oh that’s good Gabey, and Gabe looked up at his Dad and said, “Dad, you can get a lot of money for these things.”
And he did blow his horn… and he started out on a little air guitar, and then we got him a trombone, and he played the trombone in our little family band, the Newtune Missions… and we played in churches, he played his trombone, and Benjy played his drums… and when we’d go to different places to play, little Benjy would be putting up the puppet stage and carrying in equipment, and Gabe would just be talking to all of the little girls…
And his Dad would sometimes get frustrated and say, “he needs to help Ben” and I would just say, “he’s doing what he was born to do, he’s loosening them up” and I think that some of those kids listened, who wouldn’t have listened, because they got to know one of the group…
And that was Newtune Missions, and when he got a little bit older he started Ten Foot Cross, with Steve Gaskell and John J and Benjy, and Ben was like eleven years old and
Gabey would be like, No Ben play it this way, play it that way… and they all learned to play instruments, and just a couple of months later Gabe is calling places, “hey, I’ve got a band…” But he was doing what he was born to do…
But, you know, when I was about 14 years old I had seen some things in life that kinda disillusioned me, you know, about love and stuff… I’d see people leave and move away, people who were supposed to love other people… and you just don’t understand why, when you’re a kid… and then somebody told me about God and about His Love, and how He really cares about us… and one night I just prayed, and I said, “God, I don’t know if you’re real, and I don’t know if you even want me, but if you do, I want my life to be Yours…” and you know His Love, just came and changed me and ministered to me and His Love was there, all through the thick and the thin…
And Gabe was a Christian too… and he believed in God, and he had a hard time, and he told me several times, that people would think he was a hypocrite… but you know, you don’t clean yourself up and then turn to God, you just turn to God, He’s just there with open arms of Love, and then once you turn to Him, then He’ll help you to clean yourself up, and He tried with Gabe… and Gabe, well, like I said before, I believe that there is more and I believe in a spiritual life, and one of my Grandmother’s passed away last year,
And she had told me that when her parents were old, and when Great-grandma died, and Great-grandpa was old, she was in the room with him and she looked up and saw Great-grandma standing there, and then that night he died… and my Grandma wouldn’t have made that up… and it just shows to me that there is eternal life, there is life after death, there is something out there… and you know, I know that God’s love can surround us and fill us, and if it weren’t for that I couldn’t be standing here… but I just want all of you to know that I don’t want Gabe’s death to be in vain… O.K. I want us all to, you know there is too many young people who have died, we need to stop it, we need to stop it… if you’ve got a problem, get help… and if you’ve got a friend with a problem, try to help them… we’ve got to figure out what to do… and we’ve got to put these funeral homes, well, we’ve got to hurt their business a little… no offence, but I don’t want any more young people here… you know, you guys are too precious and too awesome… and I just want Gabe’s, you know, he cared about you all a lot… he might have been a booger sometimes, but he really cared about people… and he cared about all of you and I just want you to know that I appreciate you, and what’s getting me through right now, is, that’s not Gabe, that’s just his body, that’s not Gabe, that’s his earth suit, and I’m not burying Gabe, I’m burying his body… Elvis has left the building… and Gabe is probably up there playing with Johnny Cash right now, He’s talking to Marcus King, to my Grandma, he’s talking to Timmy VanWinkle, and Clint Reagan, and….
There’s one more thing I want to say… Don’t be mad at God, God didn’t kill Gabe, the evil in this world is what killed Gabe… God is just up there with open arms to bring him home… and I know God kept him alive a lot of times…
And I just want to thank you all for coming here, and thank you for being his friend, and I just want you to know that you’re here for a reason, and you’re all beautiful people, and I know that something good is going to come out of this… and I thank you all…
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